Every loss is painful. Every person experiences a loss of some kind, nobody is exempt from it; even the best of us experience loss. Some losses are unexpected and sudden, some losses can be expected. A loss is not a default result for anything but sadly a destined default end for certain entities in our lives. Truly, nobody deserves a loss.
There is no such thing as a good loss: for some, it could be a loss of a Job, loss of a career, loss of a position, loss of a house, loss of a car, loss of an opportunity, loss of someone, loss of a marriage, friendship or relationship. Every loss is a loss, let’s not underestimate the pain of loss for someone who is grieving from losing.
The human conundrum suggests that it is inevitable for a rational human being to live life without experiencing some kind of loss. Those who have lived long enough will testify that life is full of its gift of losses.
The reality is, life is not fair. That is the reality we need to come to peace with. The fact that our lives are unique, we are more likely to face different challenges and different losses.
Ever heard of this saying people always quote: ‘When life gives you lemons, make lemonade’. Right, Life gives us Lemons but not always the same types or colour of lemons, and when we make that lemonade, it does not always taste same as someone else’s. The point is, it is not right to underestimate someone’s loss. Metaphorically Lemons can be a loss, issue, circumstances, and more. Most of all a loss hurts. Whether you’ve lost employment, a relationship, a contract or anyone or anything, when loss happens you have the absolute right to grieve.
In the midst of persecution and great loss around the year, 50-51 BC in a small capital city of Roman province of Macedonia, Apostle Paul wrote a letter of encouragement to a small group of Christ followers in Thessalonica, and one of the verses in this letter says:
But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope.
Our primary focus is on the last phrase of that verse where it says: ‘So that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope’. The literal interpretation is: ‘Do not grieve as those who grieve without hope for better.’ The context of that scripture is Paul encouraging his church members in Thessalonica to stay strong because Jesus Christ will come to resurrect those who have died from persecution. Paul is putting hope in their hearts by simply advising them not to cry as if it is all over, he tells them to grieve for the loss but hope for better because Jesus Christ will resurrect what they lost and make it better. That should also be our posture and perspective in times of loss, sometimes we can’t control what happens to us, but we can control our perspective.
A loss leaves a vacant space in our hearts and minds, and that space is by nature often occupied by griefs but on top of griefs add hope. The hardest thing to tell ourselves amidst loss is ‘Things will get better.’ Some people wait to say it until they feel no griefs, but that’s not a wise choice because grief has no set expiry date; therefore, spare yourself a long period of griefs and start saying ‘Things will get better.’ Say it when you don’t feel it because the more you say it the more you will start to believe it. It is true; Things will get better.
One bona fide truth about life is that sometimes we always bury one thing then birth the other. There are so many people out there who have lost jobs and got better jobs lost houses and got better houses lost friendships or relationships and gained other great friendships. Whatever it is, there is always better. For some you might not jump straight away into something better, you might be required to take a pathway to something better.
sometimes we always bury one thing then birth the other.
When a loss happens, we grieve, and that’s okay because it hurts but do not lose hope, continually remind yourself that there is better because sometimes when you bury one thing you will then birth the other.