Wholeness is an ideal reality each one of us strives to achieve and a state of mind in which we wish to find ourselves. We live in times where everything is moving, moving fast. We live in times where the world has so much to offer. The brilliance of minds is reaching its peak; the advancement in technology and the development in politics. Although many of us can’t bear witness to this, history can testify that things aren’t the way they used to be back in the old days. Also, safe to say this era is far better than any other eras in the history of humankind.
We live in times where creativity no longer lives in a cage, and we are mesmerized by what human brains can do; imagination beautifully turning into reality. The natural gifted human brain has been the epicenter of all of these breathtaking developments we see in the world. The core reason behind this evolution throughout all eras always had one purpose: To satisfy the human needs/ To meet the needs of human beings. Our needs have been the catalyst to the evolution of the entire humanity.
We’ve created systems to meet our needs. We have built cultures and traditions to help our survival here on earth. Moreover, we are still building. Why? Because human needs are endless. We are always in demand for something. That is not our fault, we came to earth with empty bags, and so we are trying to fill our bags as much as we can, and sadly that is never enough.
Nobody has it all together
Unfortunately, the principle of life advises us that we cannot have it all together, and we have to live long enough to realize it. Sometimes we spend many of our years refusing to embrace it. This reality is ‘no one is whole.’ No one is a complete package, and no one has a complete life. There are things in life we lack, and that is fine. However, when we start to worry, we then become insecure. So that’s when insecurity creeps in.
Before we go any further, let us address the elephant in the room, shall we?
Everybody has insecurities. Don’t allow confidence and outlooks fool you. Don’t let authority, race, or positions fool you. Insecurity is not something we can see or touch; it’s hidden, residing behind decisions and often manifesting in our behaviors. Think of insecurity has an iceberg.
Our great friend Wikipedia describes an Iceberg as “a large piece of freshwater ice that has broken off a glacier or ice shelf and is floating freely in open (salt) water.” One thing we always notice is the tip of the iceberg, but we forget that there is another chunk of ice, almost 90 percent of an iceberg that is under water. The portion of ice underwater holds the iceberg to float and flashes the beauty of the tip. It is quite remarkable to think human life can resonate with an iceberg. The portion of ice underwater represents ‘Insecurity.’
Now you might ask ‘how does insecurity hold me to float like a tip of an iceberg’? The answer is simple. The tip of the iceberg is your actions, your outlook, your life, but everything that holds you and makes you do what you do is your motive, and insecurity pollutes your motive.
The cause of Insecurity:
Insufficiency and incompleteness
Insecurity begins with insufficiency. Incompleteness triggers insecurities. We feel insecure when certain aspects or specific areas in our lives are incomplete or not as perfect as we wish they would be.
You might be complete in your schooling/studies but incompetent at a sport. You might be excellent with music but not so good with social life. You might be thriving in business but the opposite with your marriage or relationship. Might have an attractive appearance but not so competent academically. You might be good with physical work but not so good with technology. You might have a beautiful face but bad hair, Etc. We can keep on adding to that list.
The biggest mistakes we make is squandering time and resources trying to complete these areas. Our prime focus should be on the things that are complete and areas we have an advantage. Each one of us has areas in life where the strength lies, and that is the advantage. Pride yourself in the things that are complete because that is your advantage. If you want to win in life every day, reminisce, rejoice, and pride yourself over what you have and what you can do. Know what your strengths are and use that.
When an Eagle wants to kill a snake, it usually swoops on a snake, grabbing its talons and takes it airborne because in the air the Eagle has an advantage. That is where the Eagle’s strength lies. It would be ineffective trying to wrestle the bird on the ground or in the water. So don’t cry over what you don’t have or what you can’t get, instead use what you have and take the advantage.
The Desire To Be In Control Brings Insecurity
The need to be in control brings insecurity. If you have no control over your face, your appearance, or your body, of course, you would feel insecure. If you have no control over your job or your career, you would feel insecure. If you lose control over your marriage, your relationship, or your partner, that will result in you feeling insecure. Control is such a crucial element of power for human beings. It is part of our nature to desire control. We are naturally created with this survival mentality and crave for power. Human beings are, by nature, control-freaks, and nothing is wrong with that considering the challenges life puts us in.
As much as we love to be in control of every areas and aspect in our lives, we also need to realize that we can’t have it all together. Life is all about balance. It is not just about materials; this is also about the psychology within. There are certain things in life you can’t control, and that’s okay.
Those who have lived a long life would testify that not everything in life is worth controlling. If you can’t change it, then leave it alone. Maturity is when we learn to spot when it is time to walk away. Forcing it might break it.
Contentment is when we focus on what is under our control, what we can change, and where our strength lies.
Life is not complicated, but we make it complicated. Nobody is whole, and nobody is perfect. Nobody has it all together. No one’s life is complete. Nobody has learned everything and understood everything. We are all students of life for life. Everybody has insecurities because each one of us has areas in life that are insufficient, incomplete, and uncontrollable. We need to identify and focus on areas where the strength lies because those are our advantages. When a soldier goes to war, they don’t take weapons they don’t know how to use, the same applies to us. If we want to win in life, we have to start using weapons we know very well.