Fighting Against Insecurities

Everybody has insecurities. Insecurity is not something we can see or touch; it’s hidden, resides behind decisions, and often manifested in our behaviors.

Wholeness is an ideal reality each one of us strives to achieve and a state of mind in which we wish to find ourselves. We live in times where everything is moving, moving fast. We live in times where the world has so much to offer. The brilliance of minds is reaching its peak; the advancement in technology and the development in politics. Although many of us can’t bear witness to this, history can testify that things aren’t the way they used to be back in the old days. Also, safe to say this era is far better than any other eras in the history of humankind.

We live in times where creativity no longer lives in a cage, and we are mesmerized by what human brains can do; imagination beautifully turning into reality. The natural gifted human brain has been the epicenter of all of these breathtaking developments we see in the world. The core reason behind this evolution throughout all eras always had one purpose: To satisfy the human needs/ To meet the needs of human beings. Our needs have been the catalyst to the evolution of the entire humanity.

We’ve created systems to meet our needs. We have built cultures and traditions to help our survival here on earth. Moreover, we are still building. Why? Because human needs are endless. We are always in demand for something. That is not our fault, we came to earth with empty bags, and so we are trying to fill our bags as much as we can, and sadly that is never enough.

Nobody has it all together

Unfortunately, the principle of life advises us that we cannot have it all together, and we have to live long enough to realize it. Sometimes we spend many of our years refusing to embrace it. This reality is ‘no one is whole.’ No one is a complete package, and no one has a complete life. There are things in life we lack, and that is fine. However, when we start to worry, we then become insecure. So that’s when insecurity creeps in.

Real talk

Before we go any further, let us address the elephant in the room, shall we?

Everybody has insecurities. Don’t allow confidence and outlooks fool you. Don’t let authority, race, or positions fool you. Insecurity is not something we can see or touch; it’s hidden, residing behind decisions and often manifesting in our behaviors. Think of insecurity has an iceberg.

Our great friend Wikipedia describes an Iceberg as “a large piece of freshwater ice that has broken off a glacier or ice shelf and is floating freely in open (salt) water.” One thing we always notice is the tip of the iceberg, but we forget that there is another chunk of ice, almost 90 percent of an iceberg that is under water. The portion of ice underwater holds the iceberg to float and flashes the beauty of the tip. It is quite remarkable to think human life can resonate with an iceberg. The portion of ice underwater represents ‘Insecurity.’

Now you might ask ‘how does insecurity hold me to float like a tip of an iceberg’? The answer is simple. The tip of the iceberg is your actions, your outlook, your life, but everything that holds you and makes you do what you do is your motive, and insecurity pollutes your motive.

The cause of Insecurity:

Insufficiency and incompleteness

Insecurity begins with insufficiency. Incompleteness triggers insecurities. We feel insecure when certain aspects or specific areas in our lives are incomplete or not as perfect as we wish they would be.

You might be complete in your schooling/studies but incompetent at a sport. You might be excellent with music but not so good with social life. You might be thriving in business but the opposite with your marriage or relationship. Might have an attractive appearance but not so competent academically. You might be good with physical work but not so good with technology. You might have a beautiful face but bad hair, Etc. We can keep on adding to that list.

The biggest mistakes we make is squandering time and resources trying to complete these areas. Our prime focus should be on the things that are complete and areas we have an advantage. Each one of us has areas in life where the strength lies, and that is the advantage. Pride yourself in the things that are complete because that is your advantage. If you want to win in life every day, reminisce, rejoice, and pride yourself over what you have and what you can do. Know what your strengths are and use that.

When an Eagle wants to kill a snake, it usually swoops on a snake, grabbing its talons and takes it airborne because in the air the Eagle has an advantage. That is where the Eagle’s strength lies. It would be ineffective trying to wrestle the bird on the ground or in the water. So don’t cry over what you don’t have or what you can’t get, instead use what you have and take the advantage.

The Desire To Be In Control Brings Insecurity

The need to be in control brings insecurity. If you have no control over your face, your appearance, or your body, of course, you would feel insecure. If you have no control over your job or your career, you would feel insecure. If you lose control over your marriage, your relationship, or your partner, that will result in you feeling insecure. Control is such a crucial element of power for human beings. It is part of our nature to desire control. We are naturally created with this survival mentality and crave for power. Human beings are, by nature, control-freaks, and nothing is wrong with that considering the challenges life puts us in.

As much as we love to be in control of every areas and aspect in our lives, we also need to realize that we can’t have it all together. Life is all about balance. It is not just about materials; this is also about the psychology within. There are certain things in life you can’t control, and that’s okay.

Those who have lived a long life would testify that not everything in life is worth controlling. If you can’t change it, then leave it alone. Maturity is when we learn to spot when it is time to walk away. Forcing it might break it.

Contentment is when we focus on what is under our control, what we can change, and where our strength lies.

So basically

Life is not complicated, but we make it complicated. Nobody is whole, and nobody is perfect. Nobody has it all together. No one’s life is complete. Nobody has learned everything and understood everything. We are all students of life for life. Everybody has insecurities because each one of us has areas in life that are insufficient, incomplete, and uncontrollable. We need to identify and focus on areas where the strength lies because those are our advantages. When a soldier goes to war, they don’t take weapons they don’t know how to use, the same applies to us. If we want to win in life, we have to start using weapons we know very well.

The Difference Between Self-Love and Self-Care

The internet has granted such deep level of access to people’s privacy with no end in sight. People are reckless airing every detail of their lives.

In a world of social media, we are exposed to a lot more than we ever asked for and much more than the capacity of our human brains. We are connected to endless streams of information. Our minds are continually processing data, our heartbeats are barely keeping up with the rhythm of reality, and our heads are overloaded with news. Needless to say, the exposure to this magnitude of information has two sides: one is ‘enlightenment’ and the other side is ‘loss.’ Social media comes with a negative connotation, an appearance of a lack of self-care. But it’s not bad after all. One benefit of social media today is now we can get a much better glimpse of people’s lives. We’ve managed to win front row seats into lives of strangers, loved ones and, fortunately, those we call heroes.

This level of access to other people’s personal lives has also given way to promotion and motivation. The internet has granted such deep level of access to people’s privacy that some have capitalised on this type of access by influencing and making an impact in their communities and around the world. Social media is only evil depending on how you use it and the purpose of use.

The impact of social media

One of the impacts social media has is that it has given favour to the promotion of the ‘Self’ concept, whether people are having trouble understanding the ideologies of ‘Self’ or the concept of ‘self’ is perverted. Narcissism isn’t a crime, but it can be perverted, meaning power lies in each one’s hands, and actions depend on motives.

There are two ideas that are driving the ‘Self’ concept: 1. Self Love 2. Self Care. As much as we love ourselves, each one of us misuses these ideas often. There is a reasonable gap and a fair distinction between Self-Love and Self-Care. Although they both carry the same concept, they have a different impact and one purpose, which is to fulfil ‘Self.’

What is Self-Love and Self-Care?

I am going to try and to explain both ideas in the simplest form to the best of my knowledge. We use both ideas most of the time, and it’s essential that we understand the differences for our benefit and those around us.

Self-care.

What is self-care? Someone who practices self-care dedicates time and finance for their well-being. i.e., caring about yourself could mean exercising for a healthy living lifestyle and that is very important. For some it could mean, eating well and respecting their diet for the sake of their health. Self-care involves spending time and resources on what brings happiness, joy, and growth. For some it could mean, spending money on a lovely holiday, going on vacation. Self-care could mean buying yourself that lovely house near the beach to complement your lifestyle or spending money on a nice car or a beautiful watch.

Moreover, for some it could mean, putting time aside to finish that course or degree. Self-care could mean committing to therapy or rehabilitation. Self-care is a sacrifice for a better change. It is a process of becoming a better version of you and changing what you don’t like — fixing what is broken — doing what nobody else can do for you. That is self-care.

Self-love

However, self-love is strictly different, much more straightforward and ordinary then self-care. What is self-love? Self- love is the appreciation and acceptance of the reality of who you are as a human being. There are a few things in life we can change, but there are lots we can’t change. Some have become slaves of ‘trying to change’ the unchangeable. The majority of us sometimes grapple with accepting the reality of who we are. Many labour tirelessly to change their reality, but that’s not self-love. Self-love is a joyful gift to self.

Self-love is about accepting yourself for who you are as a person not whom you are trying to be. It is not about creating something you would love, no no. It is not about becoming somebody or something you would admire or accept. Self-love is about coming to peace with yourself. Reconciling with that side of you or that reality of your life of which you might be ashamed. Anyone who exercises self-love is someone who is not striving to be somebody they are not. Self-love is becoming ok with yourself. Self-love is accepting your weaknesses, your imperfections, and your defects. It is about celebrating your real self. Also, it’s about taking pride in who you are because your Creator takes pride in you. There is beauty in weakness and brokenness. Nobody knows you as you know yourself. Therefore, you owe it to yourself to love/accept yourself.

Why Celebrating Easter?

Easter brought salvation. The significance of Easter isn’t the fact that Christ Jesus resurrected from death. The first Easter brought forgiveness

It is that time of the year again we get to celebrate Easter habitually. If you stop and ask anyone why they celebrates Easter, the standard response would be: ‘celebration of Jesus’s resurrection.’

That’s right. Easter is significantly marked as a festival people of faith galvanised, to celebrate the resurrection of Christ Jesus. So for some, Easter is a time of the year they celebrate Christ’s heroism. However, there is one significant question we are all often naive to ask: Why did Jesus/hero have to die and resurrect?

However, before we get ahead of ourselves, we need to understand first why Christ came to earth, and the question to begin with is:

Why did Christ come to us?

Jesus came to Earth because of Sin. Jesus came to save humanity from Sin. In the entire multiverse, Only Jesus Christ was worthy to come and save us all from Sin. A sin is an act of disobedience toward God, and it resulted in separation from God. Jesus’s ultimate mission to Earth was to bridge the gap between God and us; to restore humanity’s relationship with God.

Sin entered the world through Adam and Eve, the first human and the roots of humanity. The autobiography of Adam and Eve is not a Disney fairy-tale nor ordinary allegory. It is a story full of allurements. Built on the foundation of a phenomenon and supernatural occurrences. Adam and Eve’s story historically stands as a significant etiology, that evokes a sufficient explanation to the dichotomy of life and the existence of imperfection here on Earth. This act of disobedience led to a relationship break up between humankind and God.

The repercussion of sin

The existence of sin within humanity meant human beings were not worthy to acquaint with God no more. Sin has affected humanity for billions of years, and it is the prime reason why our world today is not perfect. Adam and Eve’s abuse of ‘free will’ subsequently afflicted human moral nature forever.

Sin is transmitted generationally and contaminates life from birth. Most of us are conceived, born and live in sin. This distorted nature called sin is inherited by each one of us; a state over which humans have no absolute control.

But God…..

Despite humans’ nature of Sin, God’s greatest desire is to acquaint with humans and dwell in eternity. God’s dream is to live with us, but unfortunately, due to our sinful nature, He had to use an ultimate strategy to restore us closer to him and restore the entire universe to its original state.

The ultimate strategy to restore humanity required an ultimate sacrifice for sin. Moreover, this is why Christ Jesus came to earth. Jesus Christ was the ultimate sacrifice for sin. The sacrifice of Christ Jesus brought forgiveness on humanity. The sacrifice of Christ Jesus moved God’s heart and made God forgive humans nature of sin once and for all. The basis of Easter rests upon the fact that Christ Jesus came to earth to end the dominance of sin. Cleansing humans and reconciling them back to God. The death of Christ on the cross was the ultimate sacrifice for sin for all. If sin was a debt, Christ paid the ultimate price. If sin was a disease, Christ brought the cure. Moreover, if sin was a prison jail, Christ brought the key for rescue; and that’s how the first Easter happened.

That first Easter

Easter brought salvation. The significance of Easter isn’t the fact that Christ Jesus resurrected from death; in fact, history records that Christ was not the first or the last human to die and resurrect. The significance of Easter is in the fact that Christ Jesus became a sacrifice for our sins. He chose the bloody execution to bear our punishment of sin. His blood spilled to cleanse humanity forever. He carried our sins on the cross to crucify its power forever. Death was sin’s greatest punishment and prison for sinners, but Christ Jesus defeated death and turn death into a doorway to eternity; exclusively for those who accept Christ Jesus as their lord and saviour.

It is a big deal

Easter is not another holiday celebration on the calendar; Easter is significantly a memorable day historically for Christians (Christ’s follower). We celebrate a saviour and a hero who lives. During Easter we remember the labor of Christ Jesus for our sins. We celebrate Easter with joy because Christ set us free from the power of sin and its punishment. The first Easter brought forgiveness and victory over sin. His suffering and labor birthed forgiveness over sin for humanity because Christ is the son of God.

Easter iconically reminds us of God’s demonstration of love and commitment to humanity. Easter is a time of the year we commune to celebrate together as One because we are saved by One blood, One body and One man Christ Jesus. As Christ Jesus said:

“do this, in remembrance of Me.”

This is why we celebrate Easter: Easter is a celebration for the reconciliation of humanity and God by Christ Jesus’s death and resurrection. Also is an end to the powers of sin and punishment for those who believe in Christ Jesus. The blood of Jesus birthed forgiveness which is the grace we are converted with.

Happy Easter!

How To Achieve​​ Your New Year’s Resolution

It is that time of the year again, yes! of course, the busiest time of the year. And if you have survived the Christmas’s craziness then congratulations; your life right now is much better than Golden State Warriors fans. However, don’t get too excited because now you’ve made a step closer to another stressful finale phase of the year. Yes! It is stressful but exciting for some people.

Now picture yourself back in your final year in High School and all your relatives, all your parents’ friends and all types of Sheldon Coopers out there asking you this one irritating question: “What are you gonna do after High School?”. Can anyone relate? Or it is just me. The irritation comes from the number of times you’d be answering that question and also, the fear of whether you are going to accomplish what you’ve told everybody; the same fear applies for new year’s resolution.

Many of us don’t believe in new year’s resolutions; some call it a myth and for the rest of us, new year’s resolutions have not worked out in our favor. Many realists would conspire that a new year’s resolution is a momentary motivation which cools off when we face the reality of what life throws at us throughout the new year. However, optimists would encourage us to believe that it’s only a matter of consistency that the future will unveil what we hoped. Therefore, there is such a thing as a new year’s resolution and if you have lost your faith in the new year’s resolutions, let me be the one to restore it for you.

A new year’s resolution is transformative; it is more than jotting bullet point on a piece of paper and sticking it on the wall. New year’s resolution is far significant than what we measure it to be. Ever heard of this slogan:

“Out with old and in with the new”

Yes, that is what new year’s resolutions stand for. That phrase has a bit to do with physical objects, but it’s mainly about attitude and life-changing goals. The significance of this life-changing goal or new year’s resolution lies in the persistence or consistency of one’s determination to change their life. A new year’s resolution is a turning point for our lives.

For some people new year’s resolutions can significantly be:

Reshaping your life’s business 
Remodel your lifestyle 
Reconstruct friendships 
Renewing relationships
Renewing vowels
Reorder steps 
Reshuffle and rearranging priorities
Renovate your life
Revolutionize yourself 
Reinventing yourself 
Remolding what the previous year broke
Rework on yourself 
Renewing your mind 
Change of perspective 
Exiting out of unnecessary clicks
Withdrawing certain individuals from your life
A brand new you!

Let’s assume that some of the goals listed above might be in your new year’s resolution list and you might be wondering to how to accomplish them, well, I’ve got three ideas to help you achieve all your goals.


How do you beat your new year’s resolution?

  1. Accountability

Having someone holding you accountable to archive your new year’s resolution is the best way to go. Chose someone, someone trustworthy, not necessarily your best friend, could be anyone reliable. This someone will hold you accountable to achieve your goals. This type of accountability is also known as ‘Reminder.’ This particular person will continuously remind you about goals you’ve set for yourself, and these reminders will bring you back on track. You will be accountable to this person but much more to yourself. They are there to run checkpoints for you and to make sure you are running in the right direction and not slacking off. However, bear in mind not to underestimate the power of unpleasant circumstances; always find ways to keep running if you can.

2. Persistence and perseverance

Everybody has goals, and some have the motivation to go after his or her goals, but only a few persist and persevere through thick and thin to achieve their goals. Many of us make new year’s resolution as if it’s a wish list to Santa. I am sorry to spoil this but new year’s resolutions don’t magically come to pass; they are goals you need to work for and earn. The Genie and Santa have no business with your new year’s resolution. You need to get up off your butt and work for those new year’s resolutions. Nobody will do it for you but you. your inner motivation to achieve these goals comes from the purpose and motive behind your goals. You can do it!

3. Prayer and faith

Oops, sorry I can’t teach you how to pray but, here is the equation:

Prayer + Action x faith = New year’s resolution achieved.

That ladies and gentlemen is how you acheive new year’s resolution.

The Gospel: A love story about a bird and a fish.

If a bird and a fish were to fall in love, where would they live?

The answer is unknown. The law of nature forbids a fish to live out of the water and a bird to live in the water. Novelists and poets have courageously taken the liberty to reveal the possibility of these two species living together. It would mean, the fish would have to lip high out of the water; as for the bird, it will have to fly down closer to the water to see the fish. However, the ending of the story has stolen the attention of many conspiracy theorists.

There are many questions many of us do not dare to ask because logically the answer is impossible. Yes, there are plenty of things the law of nature calls impossible and science has marked as never. Of course, we live by the principle of what the law of science says and our human reasoning. Some things are what they are because that is what we are taught or we don’t bother asking questions. One would point out that the only thing limiting us to think the unthinkable is the law of nature.

This old Native American proverb about a bird and fish falling in love depicts an anthropomorphic metaphor that describes the love story of God for humanity. A love story like no other. The gospels tell this love story.

The gospel at its core is a love story; An astonishing love story. Every love story is relevant whether it is a Hollywood movie or not. Every love story consists of the following phases: one lover striving to win the other’s heart, it seems impossible at some point, and in the end, they both fell in love together. Standard right?. However, the love story the gospel tells us is incomparable to any other love stories; known as the greatest love story.

The gospel tells us a story about a perfect God falling in love with imperfect people. Physiologically just as the law of nature forbids fish and birds to live together, spiritually the law of righteousness prohibits sin and holiness to cohabitate together. The significance of this story rests upon the truth that, these two lovers were together; they did life together but separated due to one’s choices and the other’s law.

The gospels tell us the story of God and men falling in love but nowhere to hang out as lovers. God created human beings so God can have company. The old testament scriptures reveal to us that God created us all in His image and His likeness. Meaning we were meant to dwell together with God because we looked like God and behaved like God.

In the beginning, God and humans dwelt together, and that only lasted up until the fall of humankind. Both Adam and Eve decided to disobey the commandment given to them by God. The Hebrew scriptures tell us that, the first couple got thrown out of the Garden of Eden. The Garden of Eden was the very suitable, appropriate and accommodable place for both God and humans to be compatible with each other.

The garden of Eden was one place God created to dwell with human beings; this is the one place God would come in contact with fleshly human beings and dwell together. However, due to the first human beings’ unconventional choices, made it impossible that God would dwell with us humans. The unconventional choice also knowns ‘sin’, disconnected us from God. As a result of the first humans’ sin which contaminated the rest of us; the law of righteousness built a wall between God and us. We became unworthy to dwell with God. Sin turned us into something unlike the image of God and our manners strange from the likeness of God. It was a separation of no return.

But God never stopped loving us. He visited every sunrise and every sunset. Flapped his beautiful wings over the ocean of sin. Hovered closer to the water to catch a little glimpse of his lover. This bird(God) flashed its magnificent feathers to delight its lover (fish). The bird wished it could fly with the fish and meanwhile the fish dreamt of flying with the bird.

The sad part is both creatures would not live in each other’s spheres. The fish would try its best to lip out of the water to gaze upon its lover in the hair. From the blue sky, the bird would sink low to be in great proximity with the water. Out of any indescribable kaleidoscope of every morning’s sunrise and evening’s sunset; the bird would come to visit its lover on the water; dancing in circles around the ocean airborne — the sun from the skies shining on its wings; casting shadows of wings on the ocean to create a romantic atmosphere for its lover in the water.

This love image of a bird and a fish represents our state of love with God before Christ Jesus came to earth. Despite our sinful nature, God longed to spend life with us. We yearned for his heart and thirst for his love. God with His righteousness and perfectness, he still loved us deeply. On God’s To-Do list, God’s priority was to restore us to a state of being where we could dwell together in His holy presence. God dreamed that we could inherit the kingdom of heaven once more and share the richness of heaven. However, God desired to be hand-in-hand with his lover (humanity). Since the law of righteousness forbade it; therefore Christ Jesus had to come and break the veil.

God so loved humanity since the beginning of time and even after the fall, God still deeply loved humanity. Because humanity had already fallen into an ocean of sin, God sent his one and only son Jesus Christ. Christ came to rescue us out of the ocean of sin. Christ restored us to Eden where we can live with God. Whoever believes in him shall not remain to drown in the ocean of sin but rescued and inherit eternal life with God in the heavens. (John 3:16 – paraphrased)

Remember when Christ said: If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may also be. And you know the way where I am going.
The place Jesus is talking about is the one place both God and humans can dwell together; this place is heaven. Just like the garden of Eden. The only way to get to that place is through Chris, and He says: I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.
In and through Christ we have access to God, Christ made it possible so that we could dwell with God. So Ladies and Gentlemen, a fish and a bird can live together only in the heavens.